posted on September 23, 2004

How I Ended Up This Way

When I was a young child, I was extremely blessed.  Despite the crappy play of the Minnesota Twins, my parents annually bought season tickets right behind home plate.  Tim Teufel was my first favorite player, I knew how to yell, "KIRRRRRRRBY PUCKETT!", and, most importantly, I learned how to score baseball games before I even knew how to spell most two-syllable words.

In fact, Kent Hrbek's father-in-law routinely came down to check my scorebook.  He told my parents and I that he felt mine was more accurate than anybody else's nearby.  Of course, it never dawned on me that he simply had to walk up four or five rows to check with Tom Mee, the official scorer, for the accurate report.  However, it was a pretty cool treat for a youngster such as myself.

As a two-year old youngster, I was brought to glove day by my father (my brother Steve had likely just been born and was being watched at home by my mother).  My father soon discovered that he was facing quite dilemma.  You see, there was absolutely no way that he could possibly sneak me past the gloves without stopping to let me get one.  However, he also had no idea which glove he should pick up.

He had to scan his memory for any instance of me throwing baby-food, a diaper or Cheerios.  Unfortunately, his database can up empty and he had to make an important decision.  He suddenly remembered that he had seen me do something left-handed.  He could not really remember if I held a spoon left-handed when I was learning how to eat canned fruit.  Or maybe I used my left-hand while I was writing on the wall with a green crayon.  Either way, he knew that I was left-handed.

Apparently, my father made the correct choice because I was preoccupied with my new glove throughout the game.  It seemed to be a natural fit, and my father had averted a crisis - at least until he got home.  That was when my mother, upon seeing that my father had made a decision that would ultimately lead to me getting beat up in junior high, never having a girlfriend and rebelling against their authority by forming a punk band named "Fast Eddie G" after a certain future Twins pitcher.

Basically, my mother took one look at me and my new toy and announced, "I am not raising a left-handed child."  However, it was too late for the glove to be hidden.  Its existence had already been imprinted on my brain.  To this day, the sole reason I throw with my left-hand is probably because of that one fateful decision.  After all, I write and eat with my right hand. 

Because of the Twins, my father made a decision that increased my chances of becoming a Major League player by about fifty percent as a LOOGY (as a Left-handed One Out GuY).  In the end, the Twins had a direct influence on an unusual aspect of my life.  Now, I am curious.  In what bizarre way has the team affected your life?

  |

posted on September 22, 2004

Nibbling Around and Firing Gas

Throughout the course of the season, I will type many things and cover many themes.  Perhaps the most frequent topic of discussion on my blog has been the performance bullpen this season. 

Prior to the start of the year, the bullpen was expected to be one of the team's weaknesses because of the defections of LaTroy Hawkins and Eddie Guardado.  Instead, Juan Rincon and Joe Nathan have been as solid this season as Eddie G and The Hawk were in the past two years.  In addition, solid contributions from J.C. Romero, Jesse Crain, Grant Balfour and Joa Roa all combined to form one of the best bullpens in the Majors.

The fine work by the bullpen is one of the reasons that I am much more optimistic about the team's potential to go deep into postseason play this year compared to last season.  Of course, games like the one played last night will cause me to rethink my entire outlook. 

After another disappointing start by Kyle Lohse, J.C. Romero entered the game with a two-run lead in the seventh inning.  By the time he left, the bases were loaded and he had not allowed a hit.  While an error definitely hurt him, he should not be walking two batters with a two run lead.  Challenge the hitters!

Jesse Crain then entered the game with the bases loaded and promptly allowed a grand slam.  After a string of great appearances by Crain, he has now pitched poorly in two straight games.  On the bright side, Grant Balfour pitched a scoreless inning without having his shoulder come flying out of socket.

While the Twins' bullpen has the potential to carry the team through the playoffs, it is necessary for the second-tier pitchers (those not named Nathan or Rincon) to pitch effectively.  All of these guys throw hard fastballs and all except Jesse Crain strike out a batter per inning pitched.  Therefore, they need to come in firing and make the other team connect to do some damage.  I hate to see J.C. Romero nibbling around the corners, but that might be the defining sight during the Twins' playoff run.

Also, I spent a few more hours today working on the new look for this page.  I am hoping that I will have it completed (or at least in a form that I like) within a week.

  |

posted on September 21, 2004

AL Central Division Champions

Last night, the Twins defeated the loquacious Mark Buehrle and the Chicago White Sox 8-2 and clinched the American League Central Division for the third straight season.  The team powered their way to victory using homeruns for the second straight game.  Corey Koskie, making up for the loss of fellow Canadian Justin Morneau, provided the Northern Explosion. 

At the same time, two Venezuelans, Luis Rivas and Henry Blanco overcame physical difficulties to hit homeruns.  Rivas, of course, is playing without his two big toenails.  Blanco, on the other hand, is playing with the equally challenging handicap of a budding mullet.

Torii Hunter completed the homerun assault despite being from the United States and despite no longer a physical deformity after the removal of his braces last winter. 

Michael Phelps Torii Hunter and Cuddy Bear soak up the division title

The players unite to protect themselves from the rabid, shirtless and tattooed fans from the South Side of Chicago

Corey Koskie daily routine includes the application of an entire glacier to his bruised and battered body parts.  Unfortunately, after having this jug of water dumped on himself, Koskie broke right his fibula and four phalanges

  |

free full length porn videos, youth fashion models, blonde teen, outdoor low voltage lighting, latin nipples, office xp professional crack, mom nude, fuck dog, guys gym shower, adult dating site, housewife sex videos, nude southern california coeds, desi erotica, anal sex gnant woman, adult bondage dvd sales, gang bang queen, internal asshole cumshots, milfs having sex, mature gay sex, gay twink pics, youth lesbian personals, french sexy secretary, handjob brunette, butt naked women, , brazil nude ladies, office bj, dolphin silicone vibrator, gangbang pictures, gay cheerleaders, radioactive dating, very young gay boys, bbw swinger, anime bikini girls, hand job videos, fucked housewives, free nude milf thumbs, asian nurse sex, ffm porn video clips, pornstar movie clips, coeds 12, head in pussy, anal sex outdoors, brunette ass fuck, sapphic erotica clip, playboy boobs, strapping young lad, pregnant women sex, threesome ffm cards, free gay twink galleries, naked cheerleader videos, chubby blonde teens, hustler logo, stories adult, audio film clips, club hustler, free sample hentai movies, teen models gallery, tanned models naked, pornstar queens, galleries of sexy chicks, black bubble butt, child pornstars, naked chubby/plumdhead women, nadine coyle upskirt, sailormoon porn, skinny girl cunt, fl, big phat ass butt, final fantasy 10-2 hentai, see video clips, mom exposed, maid gangbang, dirty dancing havana nights soundtrack, dog stockings, teen bikini pictures, tits sex, nice pregnant galleries, young mom, gang bang teens, teen incest toons, silicon tits, bikini girl pics, gangbang blonde, nude girls on the beach, zero tolerance gang crime, free adult personals, , huge ebony tits, free lesbian porn videos, amateur couples sex, free child porn, brunette creampie, adult movie dvds, sexy moms having sex, lesbian sex videos, pregnant milf, vagina snake insertions, ugly slut, anal gang, amateur masturbating, spanking movies, vaginal sex, sapphic erotica january, ugly fat girls, cum on tiny tits, closeup sucking, kanye west asshole, , serendipity erotica, fat female models, porn uniform, schoolgirl uniform porn, doggy style xxx, very nice ass gallery, asian model galleries, 2005 playboy college coeds, teen twink, ugly vagina, hustler magazine video, skinny underweight girl belly breasts hips thighs, swing dating, unique bridal shower gifts, , black on blonde sex, lingerie models topless, pornstar hardcore, free hotties galleries bikini lingerie, skinny girl big tits, free masturbating coeds, mexican bitch, tiny girls tights, wife topless, live football commentary online, big tits mature, chick pics, brazil girls in thongs, tight teen pussy, women naked in shower, latex vagina, soccer chick, tanned models naked, tiny teenie, nipple sucking milk lactating human, black naked bitches, arab xxx, group cumshots, asian doggy style, prodigy - smack my bitch up, girls with cum on their faces, fergie naked, licking her asshole, free fight clips, chubby blowjobs, bikini little girl, live free sex, live streaming tv, gangbang, hard face fuck gag factor, nude dancing, sexy closeup galleries, dirty bare feet, xxx free movies, adult dvd for couples, brazil bdsm, shemale group, anal sex porn, desperate housewives wallpaper, hardcore anal porn, cheerleader bj, upcoming horror movies, asian vaginas, beautiful breasts silicone pads, strap on chicks, adult swinging, naked volleyball, free xxx galleries, bbw videos, outdoor twink, free hardcore hentai, dbz lesbian, lesbians melon, blonde fucks, brazil natal fs2004, , hot tanned teens fucked, shemales in stockings, yahoo sex groups, silicone penis kits, asshole wav, wet young panties, naked female, vagina photographs, movie audio clips free, japanese nude schoolgirl, fucks, youngest pussy, hot women fucked in ass, exotic bbw, free hardcore video, redhead fuck video free, gay yahoo groups, asians lesbians, female ejaculation squirting, free mature mpegs, fine bitch, pee closeup, sexual health nurse, 75 nurse orgy, adult action cam, guma xxx, colin farrell nude, big tits mature, ffm porn video clips, amateur project voyeur, local sluts, office intercourse, adult massage winchester uk, women nude beach, girls finger fuck, beach lesbian, masturbate shower, barely legal sluts, disney toon adult, gay youth community, secretary office sex, free milf gallery, hustler online shopping, schoolgirl scans, slutty wife, skinny puppy art, fantasy art nude elf, beach ffm, french porn, hardcore lesbian porn, toon sluts getting fucked, big fake melons, french maid dog costume, free busty milf, secretaries fucking boss, boobs upskirt, bukkake redhead, anal pornstar, nude beaches in california, maternity nurse uniforms, lesbian masterbation, police uniform accessories, youths in gangs, girls' lingerie, man ass, gangbang parties, ass sluts, chubby men sex, wet fuck, big boob cartoons, bbw escorts newyork, hobble maids dress, cum on her face brooke, outdoor shitting, dirty college girls, dirty letters, bestiality dvd for sale, wife's fantasy, men in stockings and suspenders, caught female pissing outdoor, boob morphs, melon kinen-bi, , penis in pussy, spanking twinks, fat girl naked, female canings, big melons suck, tiny lolita tits, free fat hairy cunt, nude dudes, manga schoolgirls, young super models, dildo in pussy, free black sex videos, girl upskirt sading, hot teen brunette, female cat names, busty blonde fucking, cheerleaders wet, masturbate office, lesbian lust, , chubby teens, hardcore porn movies, largest boobs, secret fuck wife, nice juicy tanned ass, fat labia lips, free strip games, hot secretary stories, free bbw xxx gallery, busty silicone boobs, spanish porn, naked jessica simpson, final fantasy hentai pics, anal sex movies, cum covered schoolgirls, lesbian anal fisting, dirty wife, ladies seeking male maids uk, pregnant video, horny amateur, polyamory dating, red fishnet stockings, backseat sex, tortured nipples, redhead twink, cumshot on face, young chubby nude girls, housewife tgp, , free toon blowjobs, upskirt, ashley mary kate olson's tits, posted on September 20, 2004

A Look at the Lefty

Johan Santana's pretty good.  Of course, you already knew that.  Therefore, I am going to write about a lesser known left-handed pitcher on the Twins staff.

Joe Beimel, unlike Cy Santana, sucks.  He has pitched in three games as a Twin and has allowed at least two runs in each of them.  He has allowed ten base runners while recording just FIVE outs.  You read that correctly.  He allows as many base runners to record five outs as Johan allows while pitching eleven innings!

In fact, Joe Beimel entered his last game with an ERA of 36.00 and raised it!  He has both walked and struck out two batters.  In all, he has faced 15 men, and two-thirds of them have reached base.  Not only that, but after removing the two walks and two strikeouts and one homerun (the three balls that did not end up in play), he has allowed seven hits in ten plate appearances. 

Basically, seventy percent of balls that are hit into play turn into hits against him.  Obviously, this is just a ridiculously small sample size.  Obviously, he has pitched in some bad luck (I think even I could get four out of ten balls hit into play turned into outs).  Obviously, he's not going to pitch any meaningful innings.

Well, to what can we attribute his putrid performance?  Is he Joe Mays in disguise and pitching with his non-surgically repaired arm?  Did he hit on Pat Borders' daughter causing the catcher to tell the batter every pitch that was coming?  Was he trying to make Twins fans as sick as Ron Gardenhire?  Why, you may ask, does he suck this much?

The answer is simple: his full name is Joseph Ronald Beimel.  Count the letters in each of those names.  Yes, I am pretty sure that Joe Beimel is actually the spawn of Satan.

  |

posted on September 17, 2004

Pity, Not Hatred

I realized a few weeks ago that I no longer hate the White Sox.  Instead, the emotion I feel is more like pity.  After all, it takes a lot to be so clueless as to continue to talk trash long finishing behind the Twins for the fourth straight season.

At the same time, they did suffer from some unfortunate injuries.  Frank Thomas, who was having an excellent year, and Magglio Ordonez, who was having a down year, both hold their lineup together.  Without those two players, the White Sox are forced to rely on the inconsistent Paul Konerko and the maddening Carlos Lee as the glue.

Not only did injuries hurt the White Sox, but they traded their best prospect and a solid, young catcher to Seattle in an attempt to reach the playoffs this year.  Now that their gamble has obviously failed, they are looking to be in a much worse situation in the long run.

In the past three games, the White Sox had a chance to reclaim some dignity for their season.  It was extremely unlikely that they would be able to catch the Twins, but a sweep, or even winning two games at the Metrodome, would have helped their morale.  Instead, they were absolutely destroyed in all facets of the game.  The Twins beat them by a combined 26-4 while listening as the White Sox had the gall to continue to rip on the Twins.

I honestly do not know what more the Twins can do to Chicago.  Every year the Twins end up ahead of them in the standings.  After surging last September to outpace the White Sox, the Twins were the main reason that Jerry Manuel was fired as their manager. 

In addition, Chicago is allowed to hang around the race just long enough to think that they actually have a chance.  This persuades them into trading away all of their prospects and keeps them from ever actually taking a step forward.  The White Sox were geared to make their move this year because a lot of players are old and leaving after the season.  Now the White Sox will have to rebuild on the fly, without their top prospects, while looking up at the Twins and Indians who have already retooled their teams.

In short, it is going to be a few years before the White Sox matter again.  However, what's a few years to the franchise that has not won a World Series since 1917?

  |

posted on September 16, 2004

Short and Sweet

Last night, Carlos Silva tried to stake a claim to the third starter spot on the Twins playoff roster.  He pitched 5.1 shutout innings before exiting the game after being hit on the ankle with a line drive.  His groundball-to-fly ball ratio was 12:2 which is exactly what we expected at the start of the season.

In his two seasons in Philadelphia, Carlos Silva had groundball-to-fly ball ratios of 2.38:1 and 1.97:1.  This season, it has decreased over twenty percent to 1.59:1.  I have no idea if this trend means anything, and I'm going to stop talking about it before one of you guys gets the bright idea to ask me to explain it.

In other news, the Twins dropped their Magic Number to six with another demoralizing defeat of Chicago.  Is it just me is there a nearly perfect correlation between the amount of whining and trash-talking the White Sox spew out and the number of poor defensive plays they make in an individual game?

Jesse Crain continued his fine work out of the bullpen and the game was a pretty much an easy win for the Twins.  I'm getting more and more excited about this team's chances in October.  Plus, any time your favorite team has a winning streak higher than its magic number, it is definitely a good day.

  |

posted on September 15, 2004

The Twins, Fargo style

Last night at midnight, I suddenly was compelled to watch Fargo.  Thus, during the time I normally spend updating this site, I was in the other room.  Afterwards, I quickly fell asleep.  Now that I am awake again, I'm going to update this page, and tie in Fargo at the same time.

"Well, but see, I don't have 'em in front a me.  Why don't I just fax you over a copy."

Jerry Lundegaard desperately wants to hide the serial numbers of the cars he used as collateral to secure a loan.  He goes out of his way to blur and distort the numbers all while leading the man investigating the loan on as long as possible.  This closely parallels the current Joe Mauer situation. 

According to the Twins, Mauer is getting healthy and should return soon.  In addition, there was not any additional damage to his leg.  This whole rest occurred simply because of overuse after his initial return from surgery.  I do not want to be a skeptic, but the Twins story is just not adding up.

"Well, look, I don't want to cut you out of the loop, but this here's a good deal.  I assume, if you're not interested, you won't mind if we move on it independently."

To Doug Mientkiewicz, Justin Morneau was going to be the first baseman of the future.  He's cheaper and has a much higher offensive ceiling that you, while your defense is fantastic but not particularly useful.  You could either tag along for the ride, or be completely cut out from the team.  You chose, through your words and actions, to split from the team and the Twins went ahead and "moved independently".

"You're not a C student.  And yet you're getting C grades.  It's this disparity there that concerns your dad and me."

Kyle Lohse definitely has the talent to be an above-average starter in the Major Leagues.  In 2002 and 2003 he was practically the definition of league average.  However, he was still not even twenty-five years old, so there was room for a lot of improvement.  This year, however, he has taken a step back.  He's got the potential to be much more, but there is a disparity between his potential and performance that seems to grow every fifth day.

"There's more to life than money, you know."

Like last year, this offseason could be a very interesting for the Twins.  They have many choices to make regarding which players will return, and which will be allowed to leave.  For veterans who have already earned a lot of money and established roots in the Twin Cities (Corey Koskie, for example), I hope that money is not the primary concern in the negotiations.  It will be interesting to see who goes for the most expensive contract, and who lets other issues decide their location next season.

"I dunno.  Just funny-looking."

Obviously, this describes Juan Rincon.

"I was bringin' you this deal for you to loan me the money to put in.  It's my deal here, see?"

Brad Radke wants his wins.  There have been several games this season in which the Twins have lost because Ron Gardenhire did not pull Brad Radke when he was tiring.  After the game, the excuse was given that Radke deserves to stick around and get the credit for his win.  I'm sorry, Brad, but it is a team game.  We all know how well you have pitches this season, and a few more wins are not going to change the fact that you have been fantastic.  Just go out there and hold the other team to one or two runs, and do not worry about the offense.

  |

posted on September 14, 2004

More About the Bullpen...

Ok, I know that you are getting sick and tired of reading about me gushing over the Twins bullpen.  I suppose I would be gushing about Johan Santana, but that territory has already been claimed.  Well, today's entry is about the bullpen once again. I have become more and more interested in the usage of the bullpen this season because the Twins have had a plethora of good options and I am curious about who has been the best.  Simply by looking at the decisions Ron Gardenhire has made during the games, it is easy to see who he trusts and who he does not.

If you are interested in looking through Gardy's decisions, it would require you to either selectively choose a few games or waste a lot of time.  However, I've simplified matters for you considerably.  In fact, right below the Big Board on the left column, you will know notice that I have added a Bullpen Usage Chart.

This chart was first unveiled on July 31, but I have now updated it and plan to continue to update it after every game for the rest of the season.  In addition, I'll create another one solely for the postseason to help see if Ron Gardenhire gets reliever-wacky in the same way he did in the 2002 ALCS.

If you look, you will see that Ron Gardenhire identified Joe Nathan, Juan Rincon and J.C. Romero as his three top relievers.  This makes sense because they have been the team's three best relievers.  However, he has done a great job of giving them the highest leverage innings that were available. 

Those three pitchers were the only ones who have spent substantial time in the bullpen and have a higher frequency of high leverage innings and appearances than the team average.  Also, just take the time to soak in how absolutely fantastic Joe Nathan has been this season.

I'm hoping that someone might pass by and be inspired to do a chart on their favorite team.  Of course, that would require a) a non-Twins fan to read my blog, and b) that person to possess a lot of free time.

  |

posted on September 13, 2004

Funneling the Innings

Let's look at four pitchers:

 

	IP	H	ER	HR	BB	K	ERA	WHIP
Player A	202	142	64	24	48	233	2.85	0.94
Player B	197.2	208	77	21	19	132	3.51	1.15
Player C	136	91	33	7	53	166	2.18	1.06
Player D	118.1	85	36	5	54	114	2.74	1.18

Player A is pretty good.  So good, in fact, that he should win the American League Cy Young Award this season.  Of course, those are the stats that Johan Santana has compiled so far this season.  I think that it is safe to say that he has been dominant and effective.

Player B is a step down from Santana, but still does a good job of limiting both runs and base-runners.  I'm sure that it is pretty easy to finger Brad Radke as B.

Now, you may ask... who are players C and D?  Both of these players have been fantastic at striking out batters in bunches and also have lower ERAs than Johan Santana.  Not only that, but these two pitchers have also kept the ball in the stadium by combining to allow half as many homeruns as Santana in more innings.

These traits do not seem to fit with any of the starters the Twins have tried to use to plug the gaping holes in the rest of their starting rotation.  Of course, that is because these pitchers have not been given a chance to start in the Twins rotation.  Instead, Kyle Lohse has been thrown out onto the mound every fifth day in his eternal quest to suck more than in his previous start. 

Like a theoretical perpetual motion machine, Kyle keeps on churning poorer and poorer games (although my fingers are crossed that Saturday's start was the day he finally got himself together).

Anyway, who are these fire-tossing strikeout artists?  Well, Player C is actually the two-headed monster known as Juan Rincon and Joe Nathan.  When you look at their stats, it is pretty clear to see why they seem so dominant.  The simple reason: they seem that dominant because they are that dominant.

In the playoffs, I am hoping that Santana and Radke can always reach the seventh inning in their starts.  Then, Rincon and Nathan can trot in to continue the successful pitching.

Player D is another interesting creature.  This three-headed monster hails from three different countries: the Puerto Rican (J.C. Romero), the Australian (Grant Balfour, and the Canadian (Jesse Crain).  These guys are the Brad Radke to Rincon and Nathan's Johan Santana.  They have been effective, but not as effective as the really dominant guys.

My vision for these three pitchers is to have them pitching the sixth and seventh innings in the postseason.  They will be extremely valuable in the games not started by Radke and Santana as they bridge the gap to the front-tier talent.

If Ron Gardenhire plays his cards right, he should be able to funnel about seventy-five percent of all the Twins postseason innings to these seven arms.  With Brad Radke representing the "worst" of these pitchers, I am downright giddy about the Twins' chances to go deep into October.

Here's the blueprint:

-Santana and Radke: Innings 1 through trouble in the 7th
-Rincon: 8th inning (also the 7th if he has had a couple of days off)
-Nathan: 9th inning (bail out Rincon in 8th if necessary)
-Romero/Crain/Balfour: 6th and 7th innings

  |

posted on September 10, 2004

Back from Minnesota

After a quick jaunt home, I am back in the Nation's Capital.  While I was home, I was able to partake in my favorite Minnesota activity: watching the Twins on cable television.  On Sunday, I enjoyed a visit to the 5-8 Club.  Well, I enjoyed eating there, but I did not particularly enjoy watching Kyle Lohse continue to suck.

Then, on Monday, the Twins continued to go out of their way to not score runs while I was home.  Daniel Cabrera, the same pitcher I saw the Twins rough up in Camden Yards a month earlier with my own eyes, held the team to just one run while Terry Mulholland continued to pitch just well enough to not suck as much as Kyle Lohse.

On Tuesday, the Twins were handcuffed by another young pitcher before Jorge Julio proved yet again that being a closer does not necessarily mean that a pitcher is good.  After giving up a long homerun to Cuddy Bear, Julio was ejected for throwing at Augie Ojeda.  Seeing as how Augie Ojeda is Augie Ojeda and not someone particularly talented, it would have been hilarious if he had chased Julio all over the place and to have watched Julio turn and run like Guillermo Mota in 2003 Spring Training.

On Wednesday, I returned flying directly through Hurricane Frances.  It was pretty turbulent.  And cool.

Anyway, I did not really see much while I was home that inspired me with a great deal of confidence regarding October.  Of course, I happened to see the offense completely stop scoring runs while two of our worst pitchers were on the mound.  I'm still not particularly worried. 

In fact, I have taken to pissing off all of my Yankee friends on campus by telling them that they better not blow the division.  As soon as I remind them four  games of Sweet Music Santana and BRadke await them in the playoffs if they win the AL East, they turn pretty white.  Good times.

I'll be back tomorrow and hopefully have more substance and less rambling.  Thanks for sticking around during my week away.

The